A Christmas Story for the Wrestling Fan

Triple Threat, 3MB, or The Shield?
Triple Threat, 3MB, or The Shield?

With 24 hours of A Christmas Story airing on TBS tonight and tomorrow, let this serve as the wrestling fan’s guide to the movie. I make it a point to see this at least once every year (7 times in 2007!) and cannot help but draw comparisons between this and thing we see in the squared circle.

  • Scut Farkus as the top bad guy has a ridiculous looking coonskin cap on his head. While he is a bully, all he wants is to make you tap out to his powerful hammerlock. His ginger-ness can only evoke thoughts of Sheamus, though Farkus is not the ratings poison that the Irishman is.

Some more similarities between A Christmas Story and WWE:

  • The never ending fight between the Old Man and the malfunctioning furnace only reminds me that the USA Network wants WWE to air three hours live every Monday night. It’s a battle that will go on for as long as the Parkers have that furnace and as long as WWE is on USA (unless ratings stay low).
  • Ralphie curses and is forced to put a soap bar in his mouth as punishment. This is the exact same thing Michael Cole and Tom Phillips have had to do when saying one of the myriad of banned words per that famous leaked memo. You know, “wrestling” or something like that.
  • The Bumpus hounds who constantly invade the house when the Old Man gets home from work. This reminds me of the annoying fans who chant to get themselves over to the detriment of those in the ring. I’m looking in your direction, post-Wrestlemania RAW crowd from this past year.
  • Ralphie’s mom forces him to put on a pink bunny outfit, in much the same way Justin Gabriel was forced to work in a rabbit outfit just last year. Luckily this got scrapped quickly in both cases.
  • Ralphie, Flick and Schwartz team up as a trio to take on Farkus and Grover Dill. The three kids are more 3MB than the Shield. But Ralphie stands up for what is right by beating the hell out of Farkus while fending off Dill with one hand. Personally, I can’t wait for Farkus to appear on Steve Austin’s podcast to discuss how he prepared his blade to create the blood in this scene.

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