Paradise by the Dashboard Light: A Baseball Analysis

Mr. Loaf is a power bat from the right side

Back when I started this blog last November, I was planning to write a lot more about baseball and I don’t think I have mentioned it at all, except for an occasional reference to my Orioles fandom, which is probably a post in and of itself. But this is something I always wanted to do: analyze the Meat Loaf song “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” from a baseball perspective, with an eye toward analytics. Continue reading Paradise by the Dashboard Light: A Baseball Analysis

Highlights from J.J. Dillon’s Book: Part 3 (Vince Russo Edition)

Time to put a bow on J.J. Dillon’s 2005 book “Wrestlers Are Like Seagulls”, which at one time was apparently hard to find. So it gives me hope that the much ballyhooed Gary Hart book will make it to e-book at some point.

Of course, guys like Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, who came from the WWF, were accustomed to getting an accounting of what was sold, so they were very suspicious over their merchandise payoffs in WCW.

It seems like EVERYTHING was done by the seat of the pants in WCW. Even dating to the Crockett days, since Dillon mentioned that the company sued the merchandise guy for ripping people off near the end. Hall and Nash were right to be suspicious since it was rumored that everything was rigged toward Hulk Hogan from a merch perspective. Continue reading Highlights from J.J. Dillon’s Book: Part 3 (Vince Russo Edition)

Highlights from JJ Dillon’s Book: Part 2 (Horsemen Edition)

We are back to JJ Dillon’s book from 2005 “Wrestlers Are Like Seagulls” and at the height of the author’s career: his time managing the Four Horsemen.

The other boys used to make light of the fact that it was a good thing that Flair never wanted to touch cocaine, because with his nose being as big as it is, there wouldn’t have been any left for anyone else.

Believe it or not, I had never noticed that Flair had a big nose until I started hearing these jokes made about him. Flair was a legendary partier, but he would not do cocaine and he would not smoke cigarettes because that would kill his whole “60 minutes every night” thing. He would do chewing tobacco and an unlimited supply of Seabreezes (vodka w/cranberry and grapefruit juice) and something like Miller Lite. Continue reading Highlights from JJ Dillon’s Book: Part 2 (Horsemen Edition)

Highlights from J.J. Dillon’s Book: Part 1

Since I enjoyed putting together passages from Bret Hart’s book, I figured I might do it for other wrestling books. Maybe I’ll try to cut it down from 17 parts. Ergo, a look at J.J. Dillon’s book will run 3 parts. Dillon is best known as the manager of the Four Horsemen from 1985-89, and as the on-screen WCW Commissioner from 1997 to 1999. But he also played a key role behind the scenes in the WWF from 1989 to 1996 doing the grunt work, and was a wrestler himself in various territories. The book is “Wrestlers Are Like Seagulls”, an interesting quote itself that will be covered eventually.

I had a passion for baseball, but when the Brooklyn Dodgers moved to Los Angeles, my interest waned somewhat. 

A common issue, actually. My wife’s grandparents (born in the mid-1930s) remain pissed to this day about the Dodgers leaving. Hell, even Mets ownership had Citi Field built, but turned it into a monument to the Dodgers and not their own franchise. Continue reading Highlights from J.J. Dillon’s Book: Part 1

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 17 (Final Edition)

Finally we’ve reached the end. In retrospect, I went a little crazy with the highlights in this book which I will chalk up to the fact that I read much of it in Canada. Having read this particular book in a Tim Horton’s in Toronto should probably entitle me to a Canadian passport, which I might want should certain people be elected President of the United States. Drive to the finish!

I tucked and rolled on the hard grassy field. The thought crossed my mind that anyone watching would probably get a good laugh. The second my head hit the ground, I’d be sorry for the rest of my life that I ever hit that hole.

In June 2002, Hart had a bicycle accident and he hit his head on the ground. His retirement in 2000 was prompted by the concern of doctors who felt a big blow to his head could lead to a stroke. The Hitman was unable to move and control the left side of his body. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 17 (Final Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 16 (Career-Ending Edition)

Got a big announcement coming up on the blog in the next week or two, let’s balance that good news with the sadness of Bret Hart’s book as his wrestling career has come to an end.

Unfortunately for Russo, nobody understood it.

If someone who was there and taking part in this nonsense had no idea, what hope was there for the audience to make sense of what was happening? Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 16 (Career-Ending Edition)

Saturday Night’s Main Event #15 – 03/12/1988

Big changes on the March 1988 Saturday Night’s Main Event: Hulk Hogan no longer is the champion! However on this show, he has an issue with Race. No, not people of color but King Harley Race. WrestleMania 4 is coming and many other key players are here: Andre the Giant, Ted DiBiase, Randy Savage, and even tournament entrants One Man Gang and Greg Valentine. The show from Nashville kicks off with Vince McMahon saying that he’s from the South! Jeez, didn’t expect that from the guy who put hillbilly gimmicks on many southerners and was rather ashamed of his roots. Co-host Jesse Ventura rips on Vince and says he has a red neck. Continue reading Saturday Night’s Main Event #15 – 03/12/1988

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 15 (WCW Madness Edition)

It was 25 years ago today that one of the most infamous WCW shows took place: the 1991 Great American Bash PPV from Baltimore, aka “The We Want Flair Show”. It should be a reminder that WCW was always crazy and screwed up from beginning to end, and it was no different during Bret Hart’s late 90s tenure with the company. Let’s dive back into the Hitman’s 2007 book for a look:

It seemed to loosen everybody up when I took to the blackboard again, drawing Knobbs with ten penises and a speech balloon that read, “Now you know why they call me Knobbs.”

Picturing Brian Knobbs naked is not suggested, but this is funny. Dating back to his WWF tenure, the Hitman liked to draw crude cartoons and put them on a board in the locker room which would serve the purpose of making the boys laugh. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 15 (WCW Madness Edition)

WWF In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede 07/06/1997

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Jerry Lawler, Memphis Cowboy

Over the last month, it seems that this blog has become something of a Bret Hart fan site. So as the end nears for the Hitman Book series (finally!), let’s take a look at the all-time high point for the Hart Family and perhaps wrestling in Canada: the July 1997 In Your House from Calgary, which took place in the shadow of the annual Calgary Stampede. Our hosts from the Calgary Saddledome are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Lawler’s ill-fitting cowboy hat that covers his eyes. Meanwhile, Ross is going to drive me insane with the pronunciation of “Sasuke” as “Sass-OOH-kay” instead of “Sass-kay”. Continue reading WWF In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede 07/06/1997

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 14 (Owen Edition)

As the year 1999 got rolling, Bret Hart was dealing with some lingering injuries and would take some time off after the angle in Toronto with Goldberg. Things were about to get much worse not only for him, but his entire family.

They were still tearful, and then one of them cracked a tentative smile and said, “Why are we crying? It’s not like somebody died.”

Bret’s Western Hockey League Junior team the Calgary Hitmen had lost in the Memorial Cup in overtime to the Ottawa 67s on Sunday, May 23, 1999. This happened to be the same day that Owen Hart died from the fall in Kansas City. The Calgary players (16-20 year olds) were still upset when one of them had said the above, but nobody in the group knew of Owen’s death at this point. Bret was trying to get to Los Angeles to appear on The Tonight Show. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 14 (Owen Edition)