Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 17 (Final Edition)

Finally we’ve reached the end. In retrospect, I went a little crazy with the highlights in this book which I will chalk up to the fact that I read much of it in Canada. Having read this particular book in a Tim Horton’s in Toronto should probably entitle me to a Canadian passport, which I might want should certain people be elected President of the United States. Drive to the finish!

I tucked and rolled on the hard grassy field. The thought crossed my mind that anyone watching would probably get a good laugh. The second my head hit the ground, I’d be sorry for the rest of my life that I ever hit that hole.

In June 2002, Hart had a bicycle accident and he hit his head on the ground. His retirement in 2000 was prompted by the concern of doctors who felt a big blow to his head could lead to a stroke. The Hitman was unable to move and control the left side of his body. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 17 (Final Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 16 (Career-Ending Edition)

Got a big announcement coming up on the blog in the next week or two, let’s balance that good news with the sadness of Bret Hart’s book as his wrestling career has come to an end.

Unfortunately for Russo, nobody understood it.

If someone who was there and taking part in this nonsense had no idea, what hope was there for the audience to make sense of what was happening? Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 16 (Career-Ending Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 15 (WCW Madness Edition)

It was 25 years ago today that one of the most infamous WCW shows took place: the 1991 Great American Bash PPV from Baltimore, aka “The We Want Flair Show”. It should be a reminder that WCW was always crazy and screwed up from beginning to end, and it was no different during Bret Hart’s late 90s tenure with the company. Let’s dive back into the Hitman’s 2007 book for a look:

It seemed to loosen everybody up when I took to the blackboard again, drawing Knobbs with ten penises and a speech balloon that read, “Now you know why they call me Knobbs.”

Picturing Brian Knobbs naked is not suggested, but this is funny. Dating back to his WWF tenure, the Hitman liked to draw crude cartoons and put them on a board in the locker room which would serve the purpose of making the boys laugh. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 15 (WCW Madness Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 14 (Owen Edition)

As the year 1999 got rolling, Bret Hart was dealing with some lingering injuries and would take some time off after the angle in Toronto with Goldberg. Things were about to get much worse not only for him, but his entire family.

They were still tearful, and then one of them cracked a tentative smile and said, “Why are we crying? It’s not like somebody died.”

Bret’s Western Hockey League Junior team the Calgary Hitmen had lost in the Memorial Cup in overtime to the Ottawa 67s on Sunday, May 23, 1999. This happened to be the same day that Owen Hart died from the fall in Kansas City. The Calgary players (16-20 year olds) were still upset when one of them had said the above, but nobody in the group knew of Owen’s death at this point. Bret was trying to get to Los Angeles to appear on The Tonight Show. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 14 (Owen Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 13 (WCW Edition)

It’s fitting that as we reach the WCW portion of Bret Hart’s wrestling career that this is part number (unlucky) 13. Things start to move a bit faster and turn very dark in a hurry.

According to the mail I received and the opinions of the fans I ran into in person, they had a hard time following the incoherent storylines—and so did I.

This is so true and is why I rarely have reviewed WCW shows from the late 90s. I can’t figure out what is going on half the time so there is no insight into what happened. Anyone who has reviewed Starrcade 1999 is better than me because I wouldn’t be able to make any sense of what was happening. But WCW was always somewhat dysfunctional from the day Ted Turner bought them and even in the Crockett days. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 13 (WCW Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 12 (Montreal Aftermath Edition)

Now that Bret Hart has been officially screwed, let’s check back in with him from his book Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling.

They’d cut the ring mic, but the cameras were still rolling, so I painted WCW in giant letters in the air for all to see.

This is one of the more peculiar parts of this: why the WWF kept the cameras rolling after the PPV suddenly went off the air about a minute after the match. It wasn’t to catch Bret destroying things so that the could sue him, since the Hitman smashed a bunch of the ringside monitors anyway without repercussion. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 12 (Montreal Aftermath Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 11 (Montreal Edition)

And now what you’ve been waiting for from Bret Hart’s book, passages from the Montreal screwjob. Let’s dive right in:

He glared back at me. “I appreciate that, but I want you to know that I’m not willing to do the same thing for you.” And then he left.

Shawn Michaels said this to Bret in October in the locker room in San Jose, CA only weeks before Survivor Series. At the time, Bret claimed to have no issue with losing to Shawn but it changed in an instant with that comment. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 11 (Montreal Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 10 (1997 Edition)

While that was a perfectly cromulent RAW last night, I know for a fact that I will have to choose between RAW and Smackdown in a month and I will go with the show without JBL. Speaking of commentary, let’s get back to Bret Hart’s book where we are now in the heart of 1997, the greatest year in wrestling.

On April 11 Vader made the mistake of going bonkers on Good Morning Kuwait.

This was the typical “interviewer asks if its fake” deal and Vader looking to protect the business, probably with his vast Japan experience in mind (since they still treated it as sport). For me the best part of this is how the Undertaker is there too in a very rare glimpse of him out of character. When Vader grabs the guy, Taker sits there stonefaced unwilling to move. Unlike the United States and a coalition in 1990, the Undertaker was not willing to defend Kuwait against attack. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 10 (1997 Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 9 (Rocky Edition)

As an old school fan who hates repetitive booking, I’m just glad the stupid MITB briefcase bit is now in the rearview for 2016, even if the new champion is a guy who can’t throw a working punch yet portrays a crazy brawler. But enough about Dean Ambrose, we’re here for Bret Hart and we’re getting even closer to Montreal.

Just after midnight, Jake Roberts stumbled through the front doors whacked out on something with three black prostitutes leading the way.

Jake Roberts living it up in South Africa 1996, everyone! I’m sure he was just preaching the word of God, right? Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 9 (Rocky Edition)

Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 8 (Kliq Edition)

We’re getting so close to Montreal in Bret Hart’s book, but first he has to deal with the rest of the Kliq: Diesel, Razor, and of course his WrestleMania 12 opponent Shawn Michaels.

Stu loved to talk about the tough guys of the business. In his opinion, Haku, Earthquake and The Steiners were the toughest guys around right now.

Stu Hart might not have been the most eloquent man in history, but he seemed to have a pretty good eye for toughness. Just go ahead and do a search for “Haku stories”. He bit a guy’s nose off! Earthquake (John Tenta) was not one to take crap from anybody, as Koji Kitao memorably found out. And the Steiners had amateur wrestling bonafides, and worked so stiff in the ring that many jobbers refused to work with them in the WWF. So Mike Enos (Blake Beverly) had to serve as a “personal job guy” for the Steiners, working under various masks. Continue reading Highlights from Bret Hart’s Book: Part 8 (Kliq Edition)